The New Tompkins Square Park, words by Stephen Paul Miller

I'd like to take this opportunity
to unveil to you our
plans for the New Tompkins
Square Park.
The fiberglass park benches are
being placed on the mideast quadrant
of Ninth Street, near the
Nuclear Reactor, far removed from
the fault line which runs
on a northeast diagonal from
Seventh to Eighth Street.
It will be needed to provide
power for all the Palestinian
refugees who are being
relocated on the Seventh Street and Avenue A
corner of the park.
I think they'll prefer it
to the presently existing
basketball courts on
Avenue A and Tenth Street.
This will allow for enough
virgin land
on the southeast corner of the
park to be utilized
to feed the poor in
Ethiopia and to build a
new capital city
of Mexico.
I know that closing the park
for 193 years will
be tough but it's
not practical to do these
projects piecemeal.  It's like
taking medicine--
you don't like it at the time but
You'll really enjoy it later.